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Sunday, March 23rd, 2003
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11:07 pm
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Oh my god....IT's been like a MONTh since I have written in here!!
I'm still ALIVE...
Whats been going on..? Well lots for me actually.
2 of my bestest friends in the whole world have left adelaide :( Caitlin was the first to leave, she has gone to Melbourne to study for 5 years!! Good luck for her though, she deserves it cos she worked her ass off last year for this opportunity. she seems to be seetling in really really well which is good. She has made friends, been to parties, got a job and moved into a flat, all in about 4 or 5 weeks. You go girly :P
Elle has also left :9 She left for KI to do the same sort of work I did last year. She has been gone about 2 1/2 weeks and comes back on Wednesday for the Paul Van Dyke concert! mmm should be sick!! I would be going but i have bloody work thurs nite and friday morning :( I will make Elle take pill of my behalf as well!!
I cant wait to see her again, it feels like she has been gone for ages!!!!!!!!!! It was really really (x 50 million) good to hear her voice on the phone when I have spoken to her recently. I miss my sarcasm cos i have noone else to say it with and I need a Elle dose NOW!! Hurry up and get back you DARRTY!!!
What else what else??
Hmmm...working a couple times a week at my 2 jobs and earning a bit of money but not too much. Im dropping conducting at uni cos i don't like it. Im also goig to pick up a few extra shifts at work so i can earn enough money to move out of home ASAP!
Oh yeh! I got carrrrrrrr. It looks like a boogie monile (JUST! KIDDING!), cos its green. Its a datsun 200B. It runs really well considering on how old it is. Its an auto but eh shme its all good :) I named it "Kermit" as in Kermit the frog, hence the colour of it. Mum was driving to work one day and she spooted a lady driving it with a "4 SALE" sign on it. She pulled over and talked to her. I got a loan on MUm and I'm paying her back with my tax money when it comes in!! yayayayayay...
Im still with my boyfriend, Steve. Alls going very well. Its getting really serious which is kind of scarey cos we have only been together for about 2 a bit months. But i figure if were happy, whats to worry about?? Pepole at my age start to settle down anyway. I dont want to get matrried or anything! But I think its better to be in a long term relationship at this age than to be switching from partner to partner or having one night stands. Well thats my opinion anyway...
Anyways im sick and feel like shit :( I promise ill start writing in my journal again more.
current mood:  sick
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| Sunday, February 9th, 2003
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5:25 pm - cocktail party
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On wednesday Lou came back from Brisbane. I picked her up from the airport and it was really really good seeing her again, Her hair was curly and longer than when she left and quite blonde from all the sun in the beautiful brissy weather.
Saturday night, Lou's friend Emily had organised a cocktail party as a welcome back. She had told me about this on the phone a couple of weeks earlier and i agreed to go, not realising that it was the same night as BeXta which I also really wanted to go to. i thought it would be unfair to let Lou down since she had been away for more than two months. I broght Steve along with me, and as it was a coktail night, she told everyone to dress up. I wore my black dress from my year 12 graduation. We rocked up at about 7 and noone was there yet so Steve and I waited out the front while having a ciggie. Lou had to pick her friend from Melbourne up so she wasnt there yet either. The conditions of this party were that everone had to bring a bottle of something. So Steve and I brought a bottle of yellow Galliano. People started turning up at about 8pm, and by 10 just about everyone was there. There was a wide variety of different people there, including uni friends, old housemates, a couple from interstate and also some of her friend Emily's housemates. I started drinking basically the instance I walked in the door - of course, me being the alcoholic I am!! The first drink I had was a tequila slammer, which went down quite well considering the drink it was. Throughout the night I had heaps of coktails including, Margarita, Cosmpolitan, Malibu banger (similar to a Harvey wallbanger except with malibu), slipperky nipple, mudslide, long island tea, cowboy cocksuckers, and more which I can't really remember now. The night was really fun, and Steve and I both got really drunk. My good friend Megan turned up at about 11 cos she had work earlier on in the evening.
They had set up a bar in the kitchen with all the sorts of things you need for cocktails like olives, cherries, mint leaves, umbrellas, and rockmelon pieces. Greard was also there, and it was weird seeing him when I was with another guy cos I hooked up with him late last year, more than once!
On the way home in the taxi, just before my house on a main road near by, Steve starts rolling down the window and I ask him if he is ok. He just shakes his head and then askes the taxi driver to pull over. He jumps out of the car and throws up. Poor thing :) He's not usually a big spirit drinker, just big on the beers. He said he felt heaps better afterward tho. I am surprised I didnt even have the slightest hangover, what a first! I am well known for throwing up when i have consumed shitloads of alcohol.
Lou also dyed my hair the night before. I got a sandy blonde packet mix thingy and it turned out ok. The top os more lighter than the bottom of my hair but it is too noticable thank god :)
Im really annoyed that I had to miss out on BeXta tho, cos I had been looking forward to it. All my friends were going as well and they were dropping a really good E. Oh well Sturdust is coming up really soon and Im pretty sure I will go, cos i will have some money now as I have started working again.
I have to work again tonight...grrr so so tired...
current mood:  content
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| Sunday, February 2nd, 2003
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4:08 pm - Shit
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Long time no write...
I've been a bit of a busy girly, like never at home. Steve and I have just been working out everything lately and we are going really strong. I've never met a guy like him, he is so sweet and caring and EVERYTHING i have ever wanted in a guy.
Something really scarey happened yesterday though. Basically, ill tell you a condensed version of the story. I started feeling dizzy ( was with Steve), I then remember not being able to see. Steve told me that I fell to the ground, he had to support my fall otherwise I would have hit my head. Then I apparantly rolled my eyes back in my head, I started convulsing, and choking. The next first thing I remember is coughing and struggling to breathe and seeing Steve's very scared and worried face looking down at me. I eventually was revived,. It only went for 10 seconds but Syeve thought it felt like 5 hours. It was really scarey and I have no idea what it could be... has anyone heard of anything like this?? Im going to go and see a doctor tommorrow and see what the verdict is. Steve said it looked similar to an epileptic fit, shit im scared...
That brought us closer though, he told me he was afraid of losing me and that losing me is not an option. He also said that in the next couple of months if Im not the "one", then Im damn close to it now!! eeek...how sweet. Things seem to be moving pretty fast... I think he's falling for me...
I miss speding time with my friends though. But whenever I want to go anywhere, Steve always want to come, not that thats a bad thing, just that I need girl bonding as well. I miss spending time with one person in particular... I miss our never ending stupid conversations and how we could always have fun without any entertainment.
On other notes, Caitlin got accepted into uni at Melbourne. She will be gone for 5 years! I am going to miss her so so much. Now 2 of my closest friends are leaving... at least El will only be gone for a short time.
Errm what else. I felt very revived. I havent had weed for a while. Im trying to give it up for uni and so far I'm going well... My body feels very refreshed for once!!
current mood:  weird
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| Monday, January 27th, 2003
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3:00 pm - The ‘girl’ who cried wolf
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Ok...this is a similar situation to the story 'The boy who cried wolf' (sort of!)that happened to me a few days ago.
I went to the beach with Steve and were meeting Kristy and Jason there. When we got there though, those two had already left because we took too long to get there.
We went for a swim and shit and then went back to Jasons place to say hi to them. After a while, Jason's like, who's up for a session? Im like....eerrrrm ok. I had to go to my cousin's family b'day bbq a bit later but i thought oh well!!
Anyways i got pretty cheeched off of one cone cos it was a mixy. Steve and I left about an hour later and I dropped him off and then went back to mine. Noone was home, becasue they were all at the bbq already. I told my Mum that i would meet them there.
I decided to go out for a ciggie cos noone was home. I was heaps stoned though and was getting really paranoid. i lit up but kept hearing noises and thought that someone was home. I kept getting up and looking through the window but no one was there. I sat back down and then the water sprinkler came on so i got up again...hmm pretty un stoned and PARANOID! i sat back down again and was feeling quite relaxed now. But then, i heard someone open the door, i looked and i saw Dad's green shirt! Shit!!! i didn't really know what to do. He came out and as he did, i threw my half smoked ciggie on the ground, and he was looking at me really suspiciously. He asked me why i was out here. I said that i was sitting with Sasha (my dog) becasue it was hot. God im a loser...it was a 41 degree day and of course it's going to be cooler inside with the airconditioning. Then i quickly said. Oh and I was looking for the cat! -> Our kitten has gone missing :( It's been about 4 days now.
So yeh Dad was like, oh ok then and walked back inside. Phew...close call. But he would have seeen my ciggie on the ground because I realised after that it was infront of my foot and not behind -> i was a stoned looser. I went back to my cousin's party thingy after wards and I was pretty stoned. he he he... what a funny day.
At least now my Dad knows I do it and doesn't just suspect that I do it, so next time he see's me, he won't be surprised.
current mood:  guilty
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| Wednesday, January 22nd, 2003
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8:25 pm - scarey shit
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OK ->
Today i met up with Alisha for a while in the early arvo...we had lunch and she was pretty damn stoned. She had a session with another friend earlier and when she met me she was hiding behind these massive fly glasses so no one could see her bad case of the "pink eye".
Anyways...after a while, i dropped her home and on my way home, i was stopped at the traffic lights on cross roads near winston avenue when all of a sudden a hear a "CRASH", and the sound of lights shattering and shit. My car also slammed forward. I was just stressing really bad cos another car had rammed up my cars ass. i had never been in a car accident before and it scared the absolute shit out of me. I didn't know what to do. I sat there for about 30 seconds just thinking about what had just happened. The guy in the passenger came up and was asking me what happened and I asked him to tell me cos i was just sitting there waiting for the lights to change. He's like, "but your lights weren't on"...uhhh...thats because i was using clutch control because the lights were about to change... anyways they thought that it was my turn in line to move but it wasn't. In the end my car (well my Mum's car) was quite bent in the behind but not too bad. Their car was worse. Something had fallen off the front of it and their lights were smashed.
Afterwards, i went with my Mum to the cop shop and reported the accident. They confirmed that I was fully in the right thank god!! I also had to ring AAMI , the insurance company, and report it to them as well.
That dampened my day quite a bit and it also drained me, leaving me with a splitting headache. When I got home, my friend Steve that I have been seeing quite a lot of lately rang me. He was in town and wanted me to come in so we could see a movie...awww... so i met him in there and we saw the new Eminem move, '8 MIle'. it was really good. I am mainly a dance music fan but I love Eminem's music as well so I couldn't turn down a movie where I get to stare at him the whole time, mmm Eminem!
Things with Steve are good though. I have been really good mates with him for a couple of weeks now. The other night he told me that he really liked me, and thought that I was beautiful and intelligent etc... it was really sweet. I thought it was really good how he could tell me how he felt rather that just making a move on me without knowing how I feel. At first I wasn't really attracted to him, but now I am. He is so much fun to hang around and we seem to have some sort of connection going. He hasn't made any moves on me yet. I'm glad that he's not rushing into things actually. It's good being able to have a guy friend that doesn't try and hit on you as soon as you meet. Im sure things will go furthur, I just have to wait for the right moment. Most of the time when I see him, I am with someone else so it could be a bit awkward.
So yeh, he wants to see me again tonite. I haven't got much else planned so i will probably take him up on that offer.
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| Tuesday, January 21st, 2003
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8:02 pm - :(
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Shit i feel unhappy. i haven't really felt this sad and upset for a long time. i guess i have been upset midly for a while but now it's all catching up on me and coming out of my system.
My Dad...he's one of the problems in my life. We just don't get along and we never have for about a year, not like a real father - daughter relationship anyway. All that our conversations ever consit of are, 'so u had a good day', and i'd be like 'yeh' - 'thats good'...and then walk off cos we have nothing else to say.
Yeh but anyways, my Dad and I had a bit of a fall out about an hour ago. We were just having an argument about something, and then he's telling me that Im the one thats always rude to the family when he really is. After all, he treats Mum like shit and can't even have a proper conversation with his own kids. He threatened that he would move out to me just before. That made me angry cos he is blaming me for his reasons to want to move out. i cannot be the only reason for moving out because I 'm not even there half the time. I'm pretty anti social with him, but thats just becasue we don't really click and cant talk about family "stuff" together...never have been able to and never will be able to. It's quite ad, thats probably why I just broke down before.
Well yeh so I just finished having a big cry to myself, god i felt like an iddiot. At the time I couldn't control my cries but I didn't really know what I was upset about. I guess my Dad was mainly the reason but another reason that has been making me quite upset at the moment is my job and my financial situation. 3 weeks ago, i was working every nighht, now I have been cut back to 1 shift a week - if that. i dont know what i have done cos they haven't said anything to me. Therefore i have no money and i have phone bills to pay...awww im so sad. im gonna have to look for another job soon i rekon or else i am gonna be so much in debt that it wont be funny.
Oh well on another hand hopefully ill be getting drunk tonite with elle and my friend steve. i really need to...drown my sorrows
current mood:  sad
current music: on phone to elle
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| Friday, January 17th, 2003
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2:11 pm - Road Trip
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Day: Tuesday 14th January 2003
Time: Afternoon (duuuh..)
Destination: Errrmmm not too sure -> Yorke Peninsula...Minlanton most probably
Date of return: Wednesday 15th January. 4:30pm ish
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ON MOnday night I rang Megan and basically told her that we needed to go on our trip that we had been wanting to do for ages, NOW!!
We planned to go tommorrow afternoon sometime. I asked Dad if I could use his car and it was fine for one night only. I packed up the car with my luggage and bedding and of course lots of drum and bass, techno and trance CD's. I was so excited getting ready to go because I hadn't been away since the year 2000 where I went to Queensland on a family holiday.
I left my place and sped to Meagan's (my friend from uni) place as fast as I could cos i was really eager to get to the YP.
I picked her up and we headed for the highway. I was really excited we had the music cranked on some really good beats.
Our first stop was Pt Wakefield. We got out at the bakery and got some lunch. We sat by the beach and ate it togther. We left shorty cos it was hot but really really windy.
Our next stop was Ardrossan, our other friend from uni, Shereee, lives there and is working full time in the foodland there. We dropped past and had a chat to her for a while which was really good cos we hadn't seen her for ages. We continued on our roadtrip when Sheree had to go back into work.
My step grandma has a beach house that was built about 2 years ago on the beachfront at Black Point (Black point is about 20 minutes from Ardrossan). So...i decided to cruise past it on the way to Minlaton. I didnt know if anyone was there but in the end Margies and her family were staying there. I showed Megan around the house, which by the way is a modern tin 4 storey house (well 4 levels...). We didnt stay there long cos we had to get up to Minlaton. Next stop was Minlaton - megan's home town!! Not much of a place, very small. Had everything you need except just in a really small area. We went to visit her parents at their shop, the upholsters shop. They were very surprised to see us cos they didnt know we were coming. We didnt know where we were going to stay yet, we had a few options of Megans place, Pt Rickably, or Edithburg, where their other house is.
We decided to go for a drive to Pt Rickaby to see some of Megan's friends. We got there but only her cousin and a friend was there so we didnt stay for long. Went back to Megans place and had tea.
After tea we told her parents we were going for a "walk", but really we went to her old school and got stoned!! hehe, as if!!! Stayed there for a while.
Then walked back to her place in the FREEZING COLD.
We were pretty cheeched so we ended up staying at MEgan's place. I slept in her old bed. Oh my god, it was sick a nice bed. A double, with the bed head and all...full antique style. I loved it so much and it was so comfy.
In the morning, we left her place at about 11ish cos we were going to have lunch with Sheree on her break. I was a pov biatch (whats new) and had no money left except $7 in my bank. So I went into the bank and withdrew it, heheh...
The bakery was packed as, so we ended up just going to Sheree's place and had sandwiches and coke.
Megan and I left for Adelaide after lunch. We stipped at Pt Wakefield for more food cos we were still hungry, and a ciggie break of course!
On the way home there was a fire in Virginia so we decided to see the action and drove up to the road block. It was pretty big and black smoke was coming out which apparantly means that it had burned down glass in a building or soemthing. That was kind of scarey and all the channel 10 TV cmaeras were there too!!
We left after we got over the excitement and went back home.
All in all it was a really good break. the country is the best place to go when you need a break from the city life. It was nice to relax and do all the things we love like getting stoned still...hehe JUST KIDDING!!
current mood:  hungry
current music: Oprah
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| Tuesday, January 14th, 2003
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12:02 am - Take 2 - answers 4 Natasha and my weekend :P
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh i just wrote the longest entrey about my whole weekend and it got erased! Ill try again but's not gonna be as good cos i can't be bothered putting the effort in.
Annnyways...my weekend was heaps of fun and really really busy. On Friday night i had work at 7 pm so i rocked up and carried on with the shift...as you do, and half an hour later my boss comes up to me and tells me that I'm not actually meant to be working...greeeat so i went home and basically just chilled out. Later at like 11pm my friend Steve tells me that there is a bit of a piss up thingy at his place and asks me to some. i decide to go in the end cos i really did feel like getting out of the house. I picked Kristy up from work on the way and picked Elle up cos she had been out with some other people smoking bongs.
We got there and it was heaps weird. He was standing out the front, and other people were scatted throughout the house. He showed us to some couches on the porch and we sat there basically all night just smoking it up!
Saturday night i wasn't working again...Sean actually had a going away party at his place because he is going to the army. We weren;t going till about later luckily becasue Jay had invited Elle around to his place for a few cones...I ended up going with her and we got there at about 7pm i think. we meant his new girlfriend and she was really nice. Jay had a fresh baggy on him so after his parentals left we sat out the back and smoked some cones. It was REALLY good shiiit! I had one bong and I felt like I had already had about 2....we kept on smoking though...
We left his about 2 hours later, cheeched as hell. Had to pick up Kristy and Caitlin on the way. The jumped in the car and took one look at us and pissed themselves...Elle and I had the worst case of the "pink eye".
Onwards we went to Sean's party. We got there and all the old school friends were there...all the "southies". Even Chris was there, i havent seen him for ages so that was a nice surprise. I was sober as a jug all night which sucked but i had fun anyways. us 4 girls were sitting in this blow up boat thingy in the pool and everyone was pushing us around the pool in it. After a while, everyone started splashing us, Sean's mum did to start with I think which was quite amusing!! We eventually got drenched and jumped into the pool fully clothed. Hehehe that was cool.
I got out of the pool later on cos i was cold and wayyy too sober and quite bored i must admit. I sat on the edge of the pool by myself chain smoking while everone else was drunk and having heaps of fun... After a while i told someone i wanted to get going and we eventually did. I dropped Kristy off first then the rest of us went to get some food from HJ's cos we had the munchies...well Elle and I did at least. When we got there, there was a huge group of wogs standing right near where we had parked. They were just staring at us like they had never seen a chick before..
"oy mate chicks...omg. Look at the car. What! is that your car..." etc etc... just being typical wogs. hehe anyways i thought that was funny!!
errrm...grr extra tired. Feels like ive been writing for ever.
Annnywaysssssss... Last night, Sunday night, was probably the most exciting night of my whole weekend!! I had work at 6 30 pm and ended up finishing at about 10ish. I went straight to elle's cos we were going to an E tard party for Erin and Marvin cos they are going to London for about 5 weekd together....awww how sweet, travelling together as a couple overseas...extra jealous!
Errrmm...we ended up getting 'Smileys' as our pills. We dropped at about 10:30 and i couldnt really feel it for about an hour. Elle was peaking like there was no tommorrow, pretty hardcoree, about 20 minutes before me. My peak was nice tho...i felt really floaty, a bit loved up, had the major eye wobbles, really clenchy jaws and was really chatty!! It was all round a pretty good pill. Very chilled out pill. Like i didnt really feel like doing a whole lot except sitting, chatting and smoking bongs. Drum and bass and trance was nice as well, i fully felt like I was connected to the music!!
When everyone had passed out except like four of us at about 3 am....we smoked bongs and got extra screwed up for like another 4 hours or something. Marvin popped his last pill at about 5am! we were still peaking a bit from the bongs. The pill lasted aggges in the end. I didnt start coming down till about 6ish.
Elle and i passed out at 7am on the grass but the bugs were really annoying us so we went back to elles to pass time then went to mine cos my mum and dad were at work. We both crashed straight away and slept for about 6 hours.
It was a heaps weird night and morning, it went really fast. In the morning we fully just kepy looking at the sky and every second it wqould go a shade lighter! thats what i hated...seeing daytime come back cos that means that it was alll over...
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4 NATASHA!!
hello my little flower,
hows the warm brissy life? heeh i guess, as you would have read, that i got a smiley in the end! like u had! did it put u on your ass??
YES! i am definately going to stardust. It s the 22nd of feb isnt it?? im hell keen to go. Let me know of any details you hear okies!!
Um...also on Australia day...not sure what im doin yet. Might...well most probably workin at stonyfell that day but not too sure ill let ya know :)
Aiiight dude well im hell tired!!
Ill talk to you soon though.
Stay cool and don't get too brown!!
haha,
Luv Rach
current mood:  pissed off
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| Saturday, January 11th, 2003
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1:43 pm
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Elle..you rock!! pretty un good commuinty. -> everyone check out "aussie plur"
Can't wait for sunday night... elle and i are rolling at an E party where about 10 or so more people will also be rolling...hopefully getting white doves, hmmm have to wait and see :)
current mood: sniffy
current music: the dirrrty cricket on the tv
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| Wednesday, January 8th, 2003
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1:50 am
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HAHAHA...the sllut girl on "the amazing race"....well, her tem won in the end, they came from coming last to winning!! hahah...the dirrty biacth she didnt deserve to but the sweet nice guy did, he should've just ditched her....grrrr i know that couldnt happen but it's a nice thought...
BTW - they oh...only ONE MILLION DOLLARS to share...geeez - aaarrrgghhhh!!!!!
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| Monday, January 6th, 2003
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12:17 am - speeding...
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Last night was fun... my girls, eloise, liz, caitlin, kristy, and kristys boyfriend jason all came out to heaven!
Eloise and i had been talking basically all day about getting some meth for the night but couldnt get any unfortunately. At the very very last minute, Dani told us that her b/f coudl get us some speed, we thought waht the hell and ordered 2 points!! we hooked it up when we got into town at about 10ish then went straight to heaven. Gus (Dani's b'f) told us to either put the shit in our drink or snort it. we didnt like the idea of snorting it so we went straight to the bar when we go there and got 2 drinks and then smuggled them into the toilet. we huddled into the same cubicle and put the shit in out drink....eeew it tasted like shit but half an hour later we were buzzing already. the points he gave us were very generous as well. i started to feel the effects when me, elle, kristy and jason were standing near the bar having a drink...i was slightly moving to the beat of the music without meaning to..like my body needed to....my jaws were also getting very clenchy!!
We danced for ages (me and elle that is)...everyone else was in the dirrrty rnb room with a couple of my old school friends. Elle and i brought some glow stix and were up the from of the stage near the DJ dancing without stopping for about 2 hours!! it was such a good feeling, like a was really connected to the music. they were playing some really good trance thank god cos i thought it was going to be shitty music. as we were dancing, i could feel my skirt stiking to my legs (cos it was longish), and i had sweat dripping down my forehead. it was good being able to exercise without meaning to!! after a while, we decided to find everyone else and have another drink. i could feel myslef starting to get slightly drunk...they had a special on where u can get a vodka cruiser and a cowboy shot for $6, so i was going mad. the we went out for a ciggie which was really nice in the cool fresh breeze.
After that elle and i got caitlin on the dance floor for a while which was good. she wasnt on anything but she was going hard. we went to get a drink and i noticed that kristy wasnt around, i noticed that i had a message on my phone and she and jason had left cos of a fight...eeek..i hope they are ok!! they are sooo cute together :) Caitlin also said that liz had left wth her boyfriend without telling anyone!! thanks...thats HEAPS nice...oh well we carried on and had heaps of fun.
After a while at about 4am...we were all craving a bong (as if...whats new!!). it was a bit late to ask anyone for shit but caitlins ex had some she thought and he was still up cos she was messaging him. in the end we caught a cab from heaven to his house in hazlewood park ($20 late - thanks!!) and had a few bongs. WOW!!! that really set off the speed...elle and i were buzzing like mad again!! - didnt want an eratic hearbeat anyway!!
Caitlin ended up staying the night there...hmmm naughty girly and elle and i caught a cab back home. got home at like 5ish am, couldnt sleep AT ALL!!! got out of bed at 3:30pm cos my body was sooo exhausted!!
now it's 12:45 am and im tired...sort of...well my body and eyes are but my mind is still a bit awake, hopefully ill be able to sleep tonite cos i reallly need it!!! ill try soon i think.
current mood:  sleepy
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12:06 am - yay... now i am un confusdededed...i think!
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yay! i talked to my friend from uni on the phone tonight and i was pouring my heart out about my dilemma with uni and how i wasnt sure if i was going to go back cos im not very focused anymore. she was reassuring me to come back to uni...saying stuff like... "what would i do without u at uni" and shit..."who will i sit in the uni bar and have drinks and ciggies with"...and then basically telling me that i would still have my so called "love" for music in me but i just need to find it again....what the! i think she is right though. this year i fully lost my focus because i basically partied too much throughout the year and took too many drugs.
Speaking of which...i need to make some new years resolutions...
1... cut back on drugs
2....save money, and buy a car hopefully by easter and move out of home
3... cut down on junk food!!! - it wastes my money and is not good for me!!
So...if i do what i said in my resolutions, i think i should be able to get my act together at uni this year!! yay - i hate having so much shit on my mind!
current mood:  awake
current music: "born slippy" by underworld
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| Saturday, January 4th, 2003
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6:33 pm - I'm confusdedededed....
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Arrrrggghh..
lifes so hard...sort of...well im just really really confused about what to do with the rest of my life. i just finished first year of uni doing a bachelor of music performance but i don't know if i like it that much. i love the atmosphere of uni and the friends ive made and the bar..... but i don't know about the course. i got my results in the mail a couple of weeks ago and i failed one subjects with an F... i think i have to repeat that subject next year but i reallly don't want to cos im a lazy bitch and i probably wont work hard again. Everyone says that it takes a year to settle down in uni but i rekon it will take me more than a year....hmm...
the reason why i am stressing about it all of a sudden is cos we have to re enroll in uni in a couple of weeks!!! aaaahhh.... i have a few choices tho... i could drop out and work full time but i rekon that would get hell boring. or, i could change courses, but i have nooo idea what else i would want to do...or i could continue with music which is my most likely option but then i think ill fail!! ahhh
sorry ill quit my whinging now and try and sort my stupid problem out.
Going to have a sess with Alisha in a minute - hahaha!! then get drunk and go into town. Im trying to hook up meth for tonight but not having much luck so far unfortunately :(
current mood:  confused
current music: 7th heaven...(TV)
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| Thursday, January 2nd, 2003
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3:40 pm - this is Rachel and Elle wishing you a Merry new year! (Caution: this entry may contain retarted...
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"In relation to smoking marajuana or taking ecstasy pills...what do you think?"
The pothead answered; "Baked, not fried, it's the healthy choice!"
what the hell. I am pulling shit out of my arse. I am mething off my tits and we are gonna go inside and watch a funnnnnny video. OH MY GOD I tried vicks tonight on e...it was a gugugugugugugenieieyeeey.
Rachel would like to say; "that I am screwed." (dead silence for 2 hours) "no shit I'm like gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"
I want to watch Calamarity Jane! Or....um..something funny! Like the Wedding Singer!
I said I knoooooooooooooooooooooooooooayyyy.
Anyway as I said I am chopped nicely, we had 4 or 5 bongs during hte comedown of e and now I am off the planet. teeheeee ok it/'s 9 am we've been going for 12 hours so I'm now going to stop typing as this has been the longest I haven't talked since HRRMMM ohhh you know...5am!!
dddd
didn't want an erratic heartbeat anyway!!! p.s. 2003 at the top of this looks weird.
p.s.s. are we just scattered and paranoid because of our comedowns or is everyone else afraid that the world is going to end this year? I would cry. That would be big BIG bad! I can just see it now....nuclear bombs being dropped over different continents and wiping every human being out. That would be terrifying. Ok shut up Elle.: note to self: don't come on lj with rachel and scattered and freak yourself out about worldly events. The one lesson that can be learnt from this kids is POLITICS IS DIRTY. SAY NO!
john Howard....pppppppppccccaaa
I do not like that man. And his little fantasies about George Bush and his Cricket team. Thanks didn't want a short balding man with caterpillars for eyebrows to RUN OUR COUNTRY ANYWAY
~the end
hahaha...this is what elle and i wrote at about 7am on new years day after being out in town. i had been at the bay which was dirrrty. then went into town to jimmy rowes and rise whith my old school friends. then met up with elle for a session !! haha as!
HAPPY NEW YEARS EVERYONE!!!
-> let me know what fun u got up to!!
current mood: off tap
current music: skanks & bigfoot - sweet like chocolate (oldskool!)
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| Sunday, December 29th, 2002
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11:30 pm - merry bloody christmas...
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Well christmas was... to tell u the truth it feels like it hasn't even been yet. I went to bed at about 3am after having a big big session with elle...that was funny. i rocked up to her place and we cruised to the park to smoke some cones cos there was a street party going on, on her street so it was a bit dodge to do it there...
we were hell paranoid cos people kept driving thru the park to and from christmas parties... after about 2 or 3 cones i was like "shit it's 10:45", we have to go and meet your dad at CHURCH! oops...we were cheeched as hell. we went to church STONED and waited in the foyer for a while cos there was shit all people there. after more people cam we sat down on a pew. i felt like everyone was staring at us cos we would have had a major case of the "pink eye", whihc reminds me, we stole elles mums eye drops beforehand which actually did help a fair bit.
...cristmas carols were fun. we would sing them...or try to, every time i tried to get a note out i cacked it. elle had her body facing the other way most of the time cos if i laughed she definately would have as well.. hahaha...then elles dad came about 10 minutes into the service. he was drunk and was singing the carols really loudly and in a deep voice... hahahahah, that just set me off again!
the next morning - cristmas day my stupid sister who is by the was, 14, came running up the stairs like a loser at oh... 7 AM!!! thanks bestfriend...didnt want to sleep anyway!!! i had had 4 hours sleep and had to work during the day, grrr... paul my brother had to work at like 9 or something as well so i decided to get up, and open my presents with everyone else. i ended up getting a sony discman from my parentals, and this book on how to save money (geez...great thanks mum), i also got some of that new 'revlor colourglide' lipsick from my sister and brother. got a few body stuff from my godmother and some earrings from a family friend.
After that was all over they were going to have brekkie, im like nup, sleep is more importnat and went back to sleep for another 2 hours. before i went to work we had some crissy drinks down at a neighbours house which was nice, fresh fruit and champagne, yummo!! went to work at 11:30 till about 3is. it was ok. everyone left pretty quickly cos they would have had other places to go thats why i got out so early! santa came (well it was actually our chef dressed up!!), it was sooo funny and cute to see all the little kids (and old people i must say) faces light up when he came in the door!!
I left work in a hurry, no complaints when they said i could leave. went straght to my auntys house from there cos that was where my family was. there were shitloads of people ther, about 20-25. i didnt know about 5 of them cos they were my uncles family or something! ... opened a few more presents, got a foot crub (hey what r u trying to say??!!), some makeup applicators, bath salts, photo frame, just the usual family jazz!!
My 15 year cuz was dying for a smoke and i cant say that i wasnt so at about 5ish we went for a drive and got food from the servo and had a smoke - as if!! hehehe...
went back...basically as soon as i got back to the house, my brother was desperate to leave cos he was soo bored so i went with him.
Later that night, at about 10ish, i got dropped at Caitlin's place and we went up to Kristys house cos we were going to kristys cousins house cos he was having a party!!
...the house was pretty nice, quite big. i was already semi drunk when i got there cos i had had some jack daniels at kristys place and a wine and bacardi just before i left. ithe first thing i did when i got there was went to the fridge and put my coke in and poured myself and kristys sister becky a glass of jack. we drank... drank...and drank...all night. it was quite fun. i was really pissed. like at the stage where u cant walk or see properly. after that i sat outside most of the night and chain smoked. i was reeealy desperate for weed and we had rang a million people and no one had any!! jason took us all (me, kristy, cailtin, and warren - becky stayed at the party and liz and simon followed) for a drive to get some weed, but unfortunately the dealer wasnt at home :( we eneded up just going back to the party and getting more drunk and watched the 'up in smoke tour' - pretty un cool!!! i was soo drunk and making the biggest fool of myself but meeh what can you do ?!
i crashed at caitlins place. we sat out side and smoked and talked for ages, it was really good, i love talking to her, i can talk about anything with her cos we have been really close friends for about 7 years now and have never had a real fight. awww... woke up in the morning, eek that was a mistake i never should have!! my head was spinning and i still felt drunk - seriously! went home and slept till i had to go to work!! hehe - pretty UN lazy... (dont mind the sarcasm)
My cristmas night was heeaps of fun in the end!! the day was pretty shitty as it is when u grow up, it would have been better if i didnt have to work i rekon.
That reminds me (i dont know how) ..i found out at work on chrissy day that they are changing management as of april so we wont get to work there anymore...so sad i loove my work! But we will get to work at the new bar in town tho which will be fun...
well gotta write more journals and catch up on myself...note to self..stop being a slack ass writer :)
current mood: okay
current music: nothing...speakers are being dirrrty
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| Tuesday, December 24th, 2002
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3:26 pm - work work work...
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Well i am sick to death of working. today, tuesday, is my only day off for the week :( so im making the most of is and having an extra lazy day!! mmm...
Had to get up at 9am today after going to bed at about 4am, because my blinds were getting installed in my room and of course mum had to make the earliest time possible!! He didnt get there until 10 god dammit and left at 11. So of course i crawled back into bed and woke up again at 2pm. im still sooo tired still, and feel like i havent had more than 5 hours sleep.
Anyyyways... yeh ive worked full on lately im not used to working so much. i worked friday through till monday nights, im working chrissy day at my other work and then thursday thru till sunday nights back at the other cafe...grrrr...extra exhausted!!
I blame myself entirely for being so tired cos i don't exactly make my life easy...
Basically every night after work except Sunday night, me and Elle have gotten stoned in her back shed - as if... it's so convinent though....we used to have to smoke it up at the local park but now elle and her mum have cleared out the shed and turned it into a "lounge room" type area, but really all it's been used for is smoking bongs!! hahaha!!!
Tonight should be good tho. Its elles street party so were going to get absolutely smashed, off of alcohol for once and have a hangover for christmas!! but ive gotta work so that would suck, o well...
Anyways better get back to my doing nothing, hehe...
current mood: lazy
current music: the tv...
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| Tuesday, December 17th, 2002
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10:43 pm - mmm the drugs r good...
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Who needs expensive drugs like ecstacy and speed etc...when you have drugs such as 'Amoxil" and "panadeine forte" hehe... I have been on them for about 24 hours and have basically been permanantly high!! i was drivin with my friends thru brighton before, had the music blaring on trance, with the skyroof open. i wanted to jump on my seat with my head out the window...my friends were a little scared i think cos i was so hypo!!! hehe...
Im still really hypo now. its really weird...i dont just feel hypo i have this high. hmm...what the?
WARNING: I ADVISE YOU ALL TO GET YOUR WISDOM TEETH OUT JUST SO YOU CAN HAVE THE DRUGS>...ITS GREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAT!!!
haha...
current mood: hyper
current music: nothing
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1:55 pm - YAY! i finally have a working journal...
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Hello all!! well i am new to live journal as you can probably tell. I had a teen open diary journal but it was shit!!
Hmmm...what to say. Well i havent had much of a life lately cos i have been working all the time at night time as a waitress. Getting a bit annoying but i need the money to pay off the rest of my phone bill $288 - hmmm...
I went into hospital yesterday at 12:30. i had to get 3 of my wisdom teeth out. My op wasnt till 2:30 in the end and I was waiting in the waiting room at parkwynd with about another 10 people getting the same thing done. It was sooo boring, at least it's over with though. I am very sore today. Very shitting cos i cant even have a ciggarette and I am craving one sooo badly! Maybe tommorrow... It took me 25 minutes to eat half of one of those fantasic noodle thingys cos i can only eat with my front teeth! i feel like a retard!! aaaahhh...
I am soo bored....oh well my life is boring at the moment and dont have much to write. Note me if you want cos i'd love to meet some new people!!
current mood:  sore
current music: fresh fm
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| Monday, December 16th, 2002
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11:34 pm - my bestfriend rachel has an lj and she is too cool for school
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this will be Rachel's livejournal because TOD is dirty and never works and is a slow piece of shit. LJ is nice and cool. LJ is like way so groovy. Anyways, enjoy :D
- Elle
current mood:  creative
current music: paffendorf - be cool
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